How to Talk About It

Talking about STIs can feel awkward. Here are simple scripts to help you communicate clearly with healthcare providers and partners.

Talking to a Healthcare Provider

At the Clinic or Doctor's Office

You don't need to explain your entire history. Here's what to say:

If you want to get tested:

"I'd like to get tested for STIs. Which tests do I need for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or other infections? Do I need throat or rectal swabs?"

If you have symptoms:

"I'm having symptoms like discharge, sores, or pain. I'm worried it might be an STI. Can you check me?"

If you were exposed:

"A partner told me they tested positive for [STI name]. I need to get tested and treated if necessary."

If you're pregnant:

"I'm pregnant and want to protect my baby. Which STI tests do I need now, and when should we repeat them?"

If you inject drugs:

"I inject drugs and want to get tested for HIV, Hepatitis C, and other STIs. I know you won't judge me."

You can also say:

"I think I may have been exposed to an STI."
"I would like to get tested."
"I have some symptoms and would like to talk about them."
"My partner tested positive for an STI."

Remember: Healthcare providers talk about STIs every day. Their job is to help, not judge. Be honest about your concerns so they can give you the best care.

Talking about an STI can feel hard, but being honest helps protect your health and the health of others. This is the site’s full talking guide — new to this? Start with the basics of talking about STIs, then use the specific scripts below for your situation. For a friendly step-by-step guide, see How to Talk About Sex from Healthysexuals.

Talking to Partners

Your safety matters: If you're in an abusive relationship, talk to a healthcare provider about safe ways to notify your partner. You don't have to do it alone. The Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence can help.

A Current Partner

Telling a partner about an STI is hard, but it's the right thing to do. Here's how:

Opening the conversation:

"I care about you, and I want to share something important."
"I tested positive for an STI."
"You may have been exposed, so I think it would be a good idea for you to get tested."

If you want to get tested together:

"I think it's important for both of us to get tested for STIs. It's just about taking care of ourselves. Want to go together?"

If they're upset or defensive:

"I'm not blaming anyone. STIs are common and most don't cause symptoms. I just want us both to be healthy. Let's handle this together."

Stay calm, be honest, and share facts. Give your partner time to ask questions.

Future Partners

Being open early helps build trust before a relationship becomes sexual.

You can say:

"Before our relationship becomes sexual, I want to talk about my sexual health."
"I have had an STI before, and I want to be open with you."
"Here is what I do to take care of my health and protect my partners."

Honesty helps build trust and healthy relationships.

Past Partners

Letting past partners know lets them protect their health too.

You can say:

"I recently learned that I have an STI."
"You may have been exposed and may want to get tested."
"I wanted to let you know so you can take care of your health."

If you're not comfortable telling them yourself:

Some clinics offer partner notification services where they contact your partner without revealing your name. Learn about partner notification →

Keep the conversation simple and focused on health, not blame.

How to Talk with Someone About Substance Use

Someone You Care About

Worried about a friend or family member's substance use? You don't need perfect words. Pick a calm, private moment, and lead with care — not accusations.

Start with care:

"I care about you, and I've been worried about you lately."
"I'm not here to judge. I just want to know how you're doing."

Use "I" statements, not blame:

"I've noticed some changes, and I'm concerned."
"I want to understand what you're going through."

Offer to help them find support:

"There is free, confidential help whenever you're ready. I can help you look."

You can search together at FindTreatment.gov or call the SAMHSA Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 — free, confidential, 24/7.

Listen without judgment, and don't expect one conversation to fix everything. Keep the door open — and take care of yourself too. Supporting someone is hard, and you deserve support as well.

Challenging Situations

If You Feel Embarrassed

Many people get STIs. Asking questions and getting tested are signs of taking care of yourself.

If Someone Gets Angry

Stay calm and focus on sharing information. You are providing important health information, not assigning blame.

If You Are Afraid to Tell Someone

Talk with a healthcare provider or local health department. The Arkansas Department of Health’s Disease Intervention Services (D.I.S.) can contact people who may have been exposed without giving your name. If a conversation could lead to violence, ask for help making a safe notification plan; you do not have to have that conversation alone.

For Healthcare Providers

Delivering an STI result

Guidance for clinicians on discussing STI results with patients.

When discussing STI results:

  • Use clear and simple language.
  • Share facts without judgment.
  • Allow time for questions.
  • Focus on treatment, support, and next steps.
  • Remind patients that STIs are common and treatable or manageable.
  • Keep a neutral tone: an STI is a natural risk of being sexually active, not a moral or personal failure.
  • Affirm the patient for prioritizing their health and getting tested.
  • Ask about practices and exposures without assumptions about identity; use the history to choose appropriate screening.
  • When you are less familiar with an infection, refer to a community health center, an STI clinic, or the Arkansas Department of Health.
  • Discuss HIV prevention at sexual-health visits. Assess recent exposures for urgent PEP; discuss PrEP for patients without HIV. Doxy PEP is an option for some people after shared decision-making; see CDC eligibility guidance. For PrEP referrals, preplocator.org finds a provider.

Example:

"Your test shows that you have an STI. The good news is that it is common and treatable, and we can start care today. Let's talk through what this means, answer any questions you have, and go over the next steps together."

To open HIV-prevention and sexual-health conversations — the CDC “Five Ps” with sample questions — see TalkPrEP: Start the Conversation (Gilead).